Tuesday, January 6, 2015

My Head Is So Far Up in the Clouds...

My head is so far up in the clouds and I don't even have a fun excuse as to why.

There is nothing quite like getting hit with a sinus infection and recovering from chemo to start off a week. I sort of feel like my head is floating above my body somewhere, but somehow it is still throbbing. Unfortunately, it is not too detached for that. Plus, I may have given myself whiplash with the intensity of some of these sneezes. My neck is sore, my eyes feel like they're swimming in slime, even my teeth hurt.

I'm not trying to complain, so much as set out a list of reasons why our house looks like such a wreck (sorry, honey).

A friend recently wondered at how I get everything done, and then I look around my house on a day like today, when I've barely left the couch except to drop Quinn off at school, and I want to set the record straight: I do not even come close to getting everything done.

There are piles of shoes by the door, beds unmade, laundry that needs to be folded, laundry that needs to be washed, and I have no earthly idea what we're having for dinner tonight, but a rotisserie chicken is sounding pretty accessible right now.

I want to do a post about my intentions for the new year, about goal-setting and sugar-reducing and my feeble attempt at the Whole30 thing. But that might have to wait until these antibiotics kick in. Right now, I need a nap (or a cup of coffee).

{5 days ago, when my head was in the clouds for a far different reason}

I just wanted to put it out there that some weeks I do have a decent amount of energy, and I take advantage of it when I can. On those weeks, I go hiking, I go to yoga, I sometimes even fold laundry. I spent a good amount of time over the holidays not thinking a single lick about cancer. I was able to put it so far to the back of my mind that I didn't even care that I had too many glasses of champagne on New Year's Eve, watching Fergie ring in 2015 with some truly awful performances in Times Square. I am so grateful for that. Really.

But on weeks like this one, I barely get out of my pajamas for days in a row. There is no balance, there are just ups and downs. This week, cancer is once again at the forefront, if only in side effects from treatment. At times like these, I remember that I'll feel so much better in a couple of days. (This too shall pass.) I think I said it here before, but the wise words of my sister-in-law bear repeating: You can get through any moment, and eventually, those moments add up and you're on the other side of whatever awful thing you were facing.

The fog will clear, my energy will return, and with any luck I'll be able to breathe through my nose again.


  1. I am glad you were able to enjoy the lovely holidays (and a little too much champagne). Beautiful photo! One can never have too many comfy pajamas for weeks like this one. :)

  2. dear Jen,

    so sorry you've hit the skids, feeling so lousy with that awful sinus infection. good you have banked all the enjoyment of the holidays and have them in your happy place to savor. it's really a hard thing to do when you are such a busy wife and momma, to just rest, keep hydrated, and keep from beating yourself up about all that looms over you. but just think of all you do for so many others - your family, your friends, we who love you and appreciate your fabulous blog - and try to keep what you need to do for yourself front and center. I wish I could be there to fluff your pillows, bring you cups of hot tea and honey (maybe laced with some good rum!), do your laundry and keep little Quinn occupied. but I can send you my very best virtual hugs along with big hope that you will soon feel so much better. and thanks for sharing that dramatically beautiful photo!

    much love,

    Karen OOXOO

  3. Well.... Sinus infection + chemo... this says it all doesn't it?

    And, who said we need to get everything done? That can't even be a decent new year's resolution :) After all, there is something refreshing about living without worrying for the little things - so don't feel like you need to worry about those beds. It's only a few hours before they're unmade again!...

    Happy 2015 Jennifer!